I pretty much have just enough time to maintain the status quo, meaning I can get what NEEDS to get done–done, but beyond that, Oy Vay. I have to remind myself that life is too short to obsess about the unfinished petty stuff–dusty baseboards, scuffed up walls, a playroom that looks like it was “tossed” by the Feds, etc… It’s all just a byproduct of a much loved home, right? I, do, however, constantly try to find ways to minimize extra angst in my life. I mean life is not always very easy. The last thing I need is my own home to bring me down, stress me out, and be a giant buzz kill when sometimes everyone and everything else is jockeying for that position.
So I keep hearing about this book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo.
Her essential question is ‘Does this spark joy?’
“Keep only the things that speak to your heart, then take the plunge and discard all the rest,” she advises. “When you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too. As a result, you can see quite clearly what you need in life and what you don’t.”
Powerful words.
Fans say her advice frees them from the guilt that often comes with discarding an object given by a loved one. She advises readers to thank their clothes for their service–or for teaching them that pink isn’t their color–before letting them go.*
She rejects all organizational products (the horror) and storage bins. “A booby trap lies within the term ‘storage'” she writes. “I can honestly declare that storage methods do not solve the problem of how to get rid of clutter. In the end, they are only a superficial answer.”
Huh. It’s food for thought.
Reading this do you think to yourself–“Self if I get rid of everything that does not spark joy in my home will my home look like an abandoned warehouse?” And the storage bins? Eek. Is she crazy? I see her point, I do. Moving all the clutter to a fancy labelled box is not cutting clutter–it’s just putting it off.
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But let’s get back to this lack of time thing we all seem to have. Don’t go crazy–set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes, do NOT multitask, and purge. Additionally, think about these items from Amy Volk’s Simplified Living:
The days being shorter, colder temperatures, less (or no) sunlight and you have the recipe for what many experience as the blahs, seasonal funk, winter blues, or seasonal affective disorder (SAD). SAD is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.
Take steps to keep your mood and motivation steady throughout the year–despite the lack of sunlight with these tips:
1. A Light Box. Light therapy is thought to affect brain chemicals linked to mood, easing SAD symptoms. Using a light therapy box may also help with other types of depression, sleep disorders and other conditions. A light box mimics outdoor light. Researchers believe this type of light causes a chemical change in the brain that lifts your mood and eases other symptoms of SAD. Most people use light boxes for a minimum of 30 minutes each morning. Light therapy is also known as bright light therapy or phototherapy. Improves mood and energy. (The Mayo Clinic)
3. Color. Color psychologist Angela Wright says shades of blue stimulate clear thought, yellow boosts creativity and lifts spirits, red physiologically affects the body and elevates one’s pulse, and green creates a sense of calming balance. Highly saturated, bright colors will stimulate while softer, muted colors will relax and soothe.
4. Aromatherapy. It is believed that natural plant oils may stimulate regions in the brain, including those controlling endocrine, immune, and limbic (emotional centre) functions. Scientific studies have shown essential oils to produce consistently different patterns in EEG tests on the brain, and that aromas may also have a subliminal or unconscious effect on mental states. Several studies demonstrate the beneficial effects on mood and depression. (www.theAromablog.com) Try diffusing essential oils with an essential oil diffuser in your home. Bergamot is calming and restores wellness and energy. Citrusy scents energize, rejuvenate and uplift. Grapefruit is well-known for its natural anti depressive properties. Clary Sage induces feelings of euphoria and inner peace. Jasmine spreads cheer and freshness. (www.positivehealth.com)
5. Greenery. Plants brighten a space, purify the air, and increase oxygen. We all know that spending time in nature is linked to reduced stress levels and tension relief. Plants are an easy way to make this happen inside your home.
6. Declutter Your Main Entryway. It’s just good sense. You want your house to rise up and greet you when you walk through the door, not squash you like a bug because of mountains of piles and clutter. Extend that to the rest of your home. You want to have breathing room; focus on quality.
7. Make Your Bed. Don’t laugh! According to Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit making your bed every morning is correlated with better productivity and stronger skills at sticking with a budget. It has also been suggested that making your bed boosts happiness. Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project concurs. It’s an easy thing to do and when we commit to it we feel a sense of satisfaction. It makes your bedroom a more peaceful environment too.
Our homes are part of our self-definition. If you are in a decorating rut I am sure this is not good news. I can almost hear the snarky comments you are making about yourself and how that explains a lot about your current situation.
I am a super impatient person. I always say in interview speak “I am results oriented”. I need everything done yesterday and if it isn’t I feel practically hopeless. There is an African fable that stays with me about a tribesman who had never seen modern Western life and the entirety of his life was in the now. He was trapped in a large cave where he could only see the sky. The man could not understand the temporariness of his situation and thought his life would always be like this so he promptly died. He fully lived in the present and had no concept of waiting for tomorrow.
Normally, I’m all for living in the now, but if you don’t have the money for decorating fixes, you, like the tribesman in the story, feel like you will be trapped forever, thus, enveloped in the cave of the decorating rut.
Now this sounds pretty trivial as I write it. Decorating rut? It’s that trending #firstworldproblems thing. I really hate mentioning to people that I actually write about decorating. It sounds pointless, silly, superfluous, Desperate-Housewives-Beverly Hills-like. But that’s not what this is.
My mission statement says:
I Style Houses. And, no that is not going to save the world but I believe that happiness starts at Home. Good style is beauty at its best if it is authentic to the individual. Own your skin. Love your house. Create joy in your home (and pass it on).
And what that means is that if you aren’t happy, then you frown, complain, take it out on your kids, your family, your friends. You drive places in your car impatiently, cutting off others, honking, and yelling. You scowl at work. You scowl at the store. You say things you don’t mean. And all of that is contagious. It is so very contagious. So now everyone around you is touching your negativity, and they are passing it on, and so on. Think about bosses at work. Are they jerks? Are the people under them jerks? Is everyone afraid, stressed, snippy, and cut-throat? Unhappiness breeds negativity which breeds all the offshoots: dishonesty, jealousy, contempt, etc…
OMG I can’t take it. Stop the madness! Seriously. I can’t change the world but I can change myself. I can’t stop sickness, death, unfairness, injustice and intolerance but I can build a better toolbox to handle the inevitably of what it means to be alive. So my first tool is understanding the importance of how our environment can make it easier to experience happiness. We can promote ways–tools–that give us an advantage.
And that’s where my blog comes in. It’s about tools to make you happier. And if you are happier then everyone around you is happier…and that my gentle reader is NOT trivial–it’s important.
So your motivation to get out of your decorating rut is world happiness. And if that doesn’t motivate you I give up.
I’m chuckling as I write this post. Not because that video was funny, but because of you gentle reader who is getting all riled up at his mere image. But hey, this is not that kind of blog and this is not that kind of post. This isn’t about politics. I happen to like him as a person–I spent 30 minutes with him one day having coffee and he was f-u-n-n-y. But this isn’t about that either.
Nor is it about the Presidential motorcade that I drove in that was totally AWESOME.
It’s about laughing.
Take your To Do list and stick it in the freezer.
Now get a scrap of paper and write down some things that make you happy. Don’t over think it.
Here’s some of mine:
Late night shows. (Recorded)
Sleep.
Good coffee.
Having time to do something creative.
Watching a good movie with my husband with real popcorn (no microwave crap), a Pims cup (google it), and my dog (kids can be optional).
Going to dinner and a movie with Dale and Mony.
Writing this blog.
Going to junk shops.
A clean orderly house.
Exploring with Steph.
Laughing. The real kind.
Planning a trip.
Editing pictures. (I know it’s weird but I love doing it–especially my design photography.)
Windows rolled down.
Gonzo’s Nose. (It’s a band.)
Spring days when the air starts to change, the flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining.
Not having my day dictated by an hourly schedule.
Being around team players.
Finding peace in my day with God.
Being with my husband and kids (when there is no whining/complaining/fighting.)
Mackinac Island. Especially at night. On a bike. With Jeff, Nick and Maija.
I wrote that list in 5 minutes. If you can’t come up with things then you better sit down with yourself.
Cue me singing in an operatic voice. Cue sunshine streaming. Orchestra music swells. Drumroll. Joyousness resounding. Puppies leaping. Kittens rolling. Happy. Bright.
Colombian Coffee and Cocktails for all my friends!
This is what it’s like over here…Bella Home Staging moved to a new place. Where everybody knows your name, it is EASY being green (shout out to Kermit), and the grass is greener on OUR side–not the other. There are no mean girls, bad bosses, to do lists don’t exist, and the laundry is always finished. We have butlers over here filling up your cup so it’s always full–none of this half empty crappola–ain’t nobody got time for that.
We are practically at the corner of happy and healthy–move over Walgreens.
We still like coveting other people’s mighty fine homes, we still aspire for good taste and style…life is too short for ugly, and we still think our deep thoughts. But we do it with a mariachi band and a margarita now.
Whoop Whoop!
Our new place is Live Your Fun. We like mixing it up.
We are still working on the gorgeousness and the fancy so there might be a few nonsensical things, but that’s another thing about here–we try not to judge, we’re all just doing our best.
Today I hauled out a desk I’ve had since college and painted it white. I’m getting ready for our new home in DC. The to do list that I’ve been staring at suddenly doesn’t have me beat anymore. I’m ready for some change. Sunshine and warm weather do that after a long, long winter. I’m ready to tackle some projects and ready for action–says the sedentary girl sitting on the couch with her laptop with a cup of coffee and the Today show… I’m currently living in a house that is up for sale. Last June I was living in a different house that was up for sale. Golly, it would be awesome if I can spend every spring prepping for buyers. Not to brag, but I sort of kind of a little bit always have a nice house. I follow my own advice. At least I do. My kids, not so much.
EVERY single house I stage the owners always say the same thing—I wish we had made these changes earlier so WE could have enjoyed them. I make it my mantra to NEVER say that about my own houses. I want it to be nice NOW, not just when it’s on the market.
So here are my Top 10 Spring Staging and Redesign Decorating Tips that are the backbone to any good looking house-and well, what I do inside my house.
1.Pare down. Declutter. Remove. Purge. Pack it away. Abolish. Dispose. And stage a coup of your stuff. Here are some links to previous posts I’ve written on the subject: The Home Purge Game, Prime Real Estate–Inside Your Home. Remember that an organized home sends a positive message. If your knick knacks are smaller than a football rethink them. They just add to the visual clutter factor. Bigger is better. If it is something that brings you joy and is teeny tiny then by all means keep it out. There’s a difference between a room full of meaningless stuff and a room that makes your life better/happier.
www.apartmentherapy.com
2.Clean it. Buyers and even yourself may excuse dated if everything is clean and bright.
Real Simple
3.Open your curtains and blinds. Sunshine makes everyone happy.
5.Get rid of dingy throw/scatter rugs. Show your floor off.
Bread and Olives
6.Spruce up your front door. Clean it up. Scrub the area around the door bell and the moldings. If you want to take it up a level try to polish the metal. Really feeling crazy? Paint it.
Southern Living
7.What about your front hall? Take as much out of your front hall as you can. A table, mirror and nice vase of flowers are perfect.
www.thenestinggame.com
8.Be greeted with style. What door do you enter from? (What Door Do You Use? And One Door’s Journey, Or…A Follow Up) If it is through the garage does it depress the heck out of you because there are so many piles and so much chaos? You deserve to be greeted with love. Make this is a priority. Set the kitchen timer and give yourself 20 minutes a day to work on this until it’s “done”. No excuses! Less is more.
www.centsationalgirl.com
9.Think spa when it comes to your bathrooms. Fluffy white towel, a white fabric shower curtain, white accessories–keep it fresh. Then add a plant. Sick–Or A Tour of Bathrooms.
10.Hang big art on your wall. Bigger is better. Less is more. It’s easier AND it’s less visual clutter. You Gotta Have Art.
