by Jennifer Farlin | Jan 22, 2015 | Interior Decorating
Did you read Smoke and Mirrors Part 1? If you missed it you can read it here. Real life is messy. Distract people from the chaotic mess in your rooms with a statement piece aka smoke and mirrors.
HGTV.com
Love the bench with the E A T pillows. No one will notice the fact that there are piles and dishes all over your table. (The team of 12 that styled this picture shoved all of it in the hallway.)
Found on EverFour.tumblr.com
The big “a” dwarfs any mess–and trumps dishes overflowing in sink.
www.decoist.com
The whole room could possibly be purchased from garage sales but who cares when the Coca Cola sign is so cool.
295luv.com
No one will be able to see anything negative about your house–blinded they will be by this gorgeousness.
castlery.com
Couches are completely stained and covered in dog hair but you are thinking “What Couches?” All you see is the art.
found on Porchlight Interiors
Christmas decorations are probably still up in May but whatever–this green dresser and wallpaper rock.
GreatBigCanvas.com
House is filthy but good things are going to happen because your room is so stylish.
Martha Ohara Interiors-HomeBunch.com
Island overflowing with clutter. Floor sticky, toys everywhere, but all your company will say is, “Where did you get these chairs?”
Joy to You!
Jen
If you loved this post then you will adore:
Sherlock on the BBC is Back…or Why Wallpaper is the Coolest, You Gotta Have Art, Making Art Out of Objects You Love
by Jennifer Farlin | Jan 21, 2015 | Interior Decorating
I am on a moving walkway at the airport walking in the wrong direction with wheelless oversized luggage carrying a toddler with a banana, while wearing stilettos. Not really, but really. Today I have a head cold. My children got me sick for the 800th time this year. I get better, they get sick, they get better, I get sick, I get better, they get sick…when we aren’t doing this fun exchange there is the snow that renders every road in Washington DC impassable resulting in school delays and closures and more time together in my house. As I was saying, it is snowing outside, rumor of early release from school, and a head cold, but that is ok because I just picked up my whole house. I mean it is GOOOOOOD. Piles gone. Dishes done. Beds made. Clean. Filed. Shiney. Did you hear me? Totally ready to go. Immaculate. So naturally today my landlord decides today is the day that the ceiling will be cut out of my living room and dry wall replaced. Saws, tarps, large equipment, ladders, toilets. Yeah, toilets. Because the toilet is being replaced too and in the middle of said replacement my landlord yells down, “Jennifer don’t come up here and ignore the popping sound and smell.”
Have you ever carried a toddler holding a banana? You will always end up a mess.
I can’t pretend this is a new phenomenon for me. Crazy and chaos are friends and shadow me closely. Over the years I have developed a smoke and mirrors technique to dealing with this inside my home which I teach all my staging clients. Have one thing in each room that makes a great statement and no one will notice the mess, as much.
For example,
The statement piece in the above picture is clearly the toilet. No one notices the tarp, tools, shoes, dust, or mess.
Clearly the statement piece in this picture is the dog, or the snow shoes. Either way no one notices the crime scene tape on the floor because of the smoke and mirrors…see? You don’t see a thing wrong because you are too busy noticing my statement pieces.
In my next post I’ll show you some more “real” examples. I need to go get my landlord bleach and garbage bags now. Really.
Jen
If you enjoyed this post try: Puke is my Kryptonite, Hey Pottery Barn Check Me Out, and Mess=Creativity.
by Jennifer Farlin | Jan 14, 2015 | Life Reflections
I’m a puke panicker. I FREAK out during puke events. It’s like my kryptonite. My oldest son doesn’t do puke receptacles–you know like buckets and toilets. He prefers to shock his mother. There was the time he had the norovirus (while my husband was deployed) and he threw up while walking up the stairs. The carpeted stairs. Like, he nailed every single stair. It’s important to note that there was a bathroom at the bottom of the stairs and a bathroom at the top of the stairs, the-stairs-that-were-carpeted. Then there was the time he threw up in his sleep–on an angle with projection. Or the time he threw up on our friends, or another time on our friend’s mother. Oh, then there was Syracuse. He puked the whole way–car seat, no bucket, no paper towels, 10 hours in snow storm, pregnant and morning sick. I had to use the clothes out of our luggage to absorb it out of survival. Fond memories of standing in McDonald’s parking lot off I-81 with coffee stirrers and napkins trying to clean car seat–because after hours of vomit that will take care of it.
My husband and I are ying and yang on this. He quietly soothes puking child. When child was baby he would pick up spewing babe with zero concern for himself or surrounding upholstery. I am the opposite. I do things like yell in slow motion baritone “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” and then alternate with trancelike horrified staring. I intermittently scream things like “where are the Clorox wipes, why are you doing this to me, and for the love of God man go to the toilet”. I pace outside the bathroom and cry (because I do feel bad for my baby) pour bleach on everyone as they pass by me and mentally count laundry loads.
Currently we are in “Hell 2014-2015” as my husband coined it at 5 am. Above mentioned child has had stomach flu of various degrees THREE times starting on Thanksgiving Day, reoccurring at 12:04 am Christmas Day (I am still apologizing to the rug), and now again, as I type this. The rest of the family have had it at least once (I managed twice) since November. Both children are currently on plastic covered couches with buckets while my husband and I mill around like a scene in Outbreak.
I am possibly delirious.
If you like this post: Sick: Or a Tour of Bathrooms, Shopping Cart Hell
by Jennifer Farlin | Jan 12, 2015 | Life Reflections
I really wanted to follow up on I Am A White House Christmas Decorator with a fun post about how I was asked to be a seat filler for The Lincoln Awards-A Concert for Veterans & the Military Family at The Kennedy Center last Wednesday and call it something snappy, like, I Am A Kennedy Center Seat Filler. This concert was a televised event to recognize those who have helped and supported our military in a big and awesome way and I was really excited to be there.
Backstage at The Kennedy Center
I pictured myself rushing in between set changes to fill vacant seats next to Bruce Springsteen, Jerry Lewis, and Gavin DeGraw’s plus one as they took the stage. I imagined passing Miss America or Nick Jonas in a frenzy of activity as I desperately tried to make it to their seats before the cameras started rolling. I mentally practiced looking dignified for my big close up. Maybe I would be caught on camera in Brian William’s clan and people would wonder if I was the sister to Pan? Maybe there would be some glitch that would be funny or I would become a celebrity bestie, you know, in the 5 seconds as I dodge in and out of rows.
Alas, I sat on Row N, Seat 2, next to my friend Stephanie and watched from beginning to end in that one seat, filling it as well as I could:) Nothing really too funny to mention except for the fact that the camera man’s cord went as far as Row N–so there he would stop and record us for audience reaction (for what felt like hours)–good thing I practiced looking dignified.
I wasn’t even going to write about any of this, but then I watched the Golden Globes last night. The quote of the night came from Tina Fey:
“George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer, who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.”
Right?
What is it about celebrities that completely dwarf real people and their accomplishments? I’m completely guilty of this. Here I am at this amazing Kennedy Center event honoring people who have made a huge difference in tens of thousands of lives and I’m trying to find Bruce Springsteen? And when I google this event the headline is about Nick Jonas–not about Dean Kamen who developed a prosthetic arm that is near natural, or Britnee Kinard, a wounded warrior advocate who has turned her own struggles into a way of helping thousands of others with the SD Gunner Fund.
I’d love to see the honorees Justin Constantine, Ken Fisher, Jackie Garrick, Dean Kamen, Britnee Kinard, Bruce Springsteen, Kayla Williams, Dick Young, Team Rubicon, and Walmart (well maybe not Walmart exactly) walk the red carpet with a little paparazzi and get all the same perks as A-List Hollywood.
Journalists receive Pulitzers and scientists receive Nobel Prizes and I bet the general public have no idea who won what last year. I don’t.
I’m really not trying to preach. I just think Tina Fey made a hilarious and very accurate point. Despite all this I would TOTALLY be a seat filler for the Golden Globes. If you know someone, email me.
If you would like to learn more about these amazing Americans who were honored or to just see me looking dignified in the audience it will be aired on PBS, March 4th at 8 pm.
You can read the details for the The Lincoln Awards at The Lincoln Awards: 2015 Winners/Friars Club and Military Times.
by Jennifer Farlin | Jan 8, 2015 | House Tours, Interior Decorating
New Year’s Resolution. Be very specific about what I want.
Dear Universe, I will take one of these please. Thank you. Jen
The Queen’s Hamlet. Versailles. www.stuckincustoms.com
Rhinebeck, New York
“Hansel”. Carmel, California
Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby. Architectural Digest
Bee Cottage. House Beautiful.
Bee Cottage. House Beautiful.
If you liked this post then you will just love:
Teeny Tiny Cottages, and Cottage Love
