July 2015 - Bella Home Styling

Kicking the Decorating Rut…The Conclusion

by Jennifer Farlin | Jul 23, 2015 | Happiness at Home

Our homes are part of our self-definition. If you are in a decorating rut I am sure this is not good news. I can almost hear the snarky comments you are making about yourself and how that explains a lot about your current situation.

I am a super impatient person. I always say in interview speak “I am results oriented”. I need everything done yesterday and if it isn’t I feel practically hopeless. There is an African fable that stays with me about a tribesman who had never seen modern Western life and the entirety of his life was in the now. He was trapped in a large cave where he could only see the sky. The man could not understand the temporariness of his situation and thought his life would always be like this so he promptly died. He fully lived in the present and had no concept of waiting for tomorrow.

Normally, I’m all for living in the now, but if you don’t have the money for decorating fixes, you, like the tribesman in the story, feel like you will be trapped forever, thus, enveloped in the cave of the decorating rut.

Now this sounds pretty trivial as I write it. Decorating rut? It’s that trending #firstworldproblems thing. I really hate mentioning to people that I actually write about decorating. It sounds pointless, silly, superfluous, Desperate-Housewives-Beverly Hills-like. But that’s not what this is.

My mission statement says:

I Style Houses. And, no that is not going to save the world but I believe that happiness starts at Home. Good style is beauty at its best if it is authentic to the individual. Own your skin. Love your house. Create joy in your home (and pass it on).

And what that means is that if you aren’t happy, then you frown, complain, take it out on your kids, your family, your friends. You drive places in your car impatiently, cutting off others, honking, and yelling. You scowl at work. You scowl at the store. You say things you don’t mean. And all of that is contagious. It is so very contagious. So now everyone around you is touching your negativity, and they are passing it on, and so on. Think about bosses at work. Are they jerks? Are the people under them jerks? Is everyone afraid, stressed, snippy, and cut-throat? Unhappiness breeds negativity which breeds all the offshoots: dishonesty, jealousy, contempt, etc…

OMG I can’t take it. Stop the madness! Seriously. I can’t change the world but I can change myself. I can’t stop sickness, death, unfairness, injustice and intolerance but I can build a better toolbox to handle the inevitably of what it means to be alive. So my first tool is understanding the importance of how our environment can make it easier to experience happiness. We can promote ways–tools–that give us an advantage.

And that’s where my blog comes in. It’s about tools to make you happier. And if you are happier then everyone around you is happier…and that my gentle reader is NOT trivial–it’s important.

So your motivation to get out of your decorating rut is world happiness. And if that doesn’t motivate you I give up.

Kicking the Decorating Rut Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Kicking the Decorating Rut…Pitfalls.

by Jen | Jul 22, 2015 | How To

Ugly, Unwanted, Overwhelmed and Guilt lurk around every corner…

You have voiced concerns, complaints, and exasperated cries for help:

“What about when I try to kick out the lurking shadows of Ugly and Unwanted and Guilt stands with his arms crossed at my door?” (If you are concerned over what this is about you might want to read the prior two posts: Decorating Rut Part 1, Decorating Rut Part 2.)

“What happens when I get rid of Ugly and Unwanted and realize there is NOTHING left in my house?”

“What do I do when I try to do what you tell me but Overwhelmed kicks the snot out of Guilt and follows me around like a lousy rat?”

“What happens if I get rid of it and then I need it?”

1. Guilt. Put it in perspective. It is STUFF. Yes, I know that it represents in our mind’s eye friends and family and life events. Yes, I know that these things were given to you out of kindness. But it is the act, the person, the memory, the thought, the event that made it important and nothing can change that. If the thing is not causing you any joy when you see it–getting rid of it will not alter the memory–it just means you are making room for new ones.

2. My House Will Be Empty. Really? First of all it might be good to live with less? Second, I think you are being dramatic. Come on.

3. Overwhelmed. Set the timer. 20 minutes a day. That’s it. No interruptions. Just 20 minutes. Keep going. I know you and I know you are strong.

4. What If…? Dude if you are keeping everything because of What If let me know how that works out. When I keep everything for these reasons when the What If happens I can’t find it or forgot I had it. Move on baby cakes.

Kicking the Decorating Rut–Part 2

by Jennifer Farlin | Jul 16, 2015 | Organizing

Here we are ladies and gentlemen, to your left is ugly, to your right is does not match, behind us is what was I thinking, and upstairs is where the really rejected goes to hide. We are in the belly of the beast. Please, hold small children by the hand and stay with the group–this is no where to be alone.

We will be passing out garbage bags. Your job is to fill the bag with the broken and useless remains around you. Please do not multitask as the monsters around will vie for your attention rendering you paralyzed.

Once we finish we will be doing a second pass. Please follow the signs which will be visibly posted:

AmyVolk.com

This is not a drill. I repeat this is the real thing. Please follow directions and we will all get through this together.

**************************************

Decorating Rut Part 1, Organizing and Fear

How To Get Out Of A Decorating Rut

by Jennifer Farlin | Jul 15, 2015 | How To

Do you dislike your house but are uninspired, broke, and not motivated? Are you using all your energy to schlepp people and stuff to and fro? Do you rent? Are you a military family? Do you have kids that use your furniture as napkins? Do you own a dog that treats your furniture like a towel right out of the shower? Do you live i~~n Northern Virginia~~ on a tight budget? Do you glance at decorating magazines and then chuck them across the room because they are about as realistic as living here:

marketplace.secondlife.com

Well my friend you are not alone. In fact, the people that don’t fall into the above category actually live in that house pictured above. Let’s take a minute and ponder that.

*minute

Yeah, no. I can’t wrap my head around it either.

Ok, let’s put a stop to this nonsense.

Pick up the decorating magazine you tossed across the room and/or go on Houzz.com and figure out what you like. When you go on a road trip you have a destination and a map. So if you want to drive to California from Florida and you have no directions you may end up in North Dakota. It will cost you extra in gas, lodging and stress because of the lack of plan. You need a destination. You need a goal. You need to know where you are trying to go. Otherwise you are just frustrated with a lot of #$%^ in your house that you don’t like that cost you money you didn’t have and is a constant disappointment every time you look at it. I mean, really, who needs that??

Let’s use me as an example. I like these pictures:

wettling architects / jessica helgerson design / this old house

Better Homes and Gardens

apartmentherapy.com

Upon first glance you may say that’s great if you live in an old house full of architectural charm, have lots of money for renovations, have lots of money, and have lots of money.

HOWEVER, I clearly like sunlight, bringing the outside in, lighter colors and a more tranquil feel to my decorating style. So just because the navy velvet floor to ceiling Pottery Barn drapes are on clearance and look amazing in the catalog’s picture doesn’t mean they are a good fit for me. Just because my budget is tight doesn’t mean I can’t open up my shades and maybe buy some plants. And just because my whole house, for example, is in browns, reds, and dark golds doesn’t mean I can’t repaint, or slowly phase these pieces out, or start to save towards something that is more in my taste.

You have to start somewhere but you need to know where you are trying to go—-otherwise you just keep buying more of the same that matches the stuff you hate.

This is the first step. I won’t give you anymore right now because you are probably out of time, someone is calling you to do something, someone needs to be driven somewhere, you need to be somewhere else, or you need to clean something off of something.

Inspired Decorating Ideas for the Unexpected aka WOW!

by Jen | Jul 13, 2015 | Inspired Style

I love to be pleasantly surprised by the unexpected when I visit other people’s homes. Especially where I live. My neighborhood was built in the 1960’s and 70’s and the exteriors are very “unassuming”. Many look very small and dated but then you go inside and WOW! The house is huge with tastefully done additions and floor to ceiling windows with views of woods and rolling hills. The backyards are surprising leafy oases complete with outdoor rooms and cozy eating areas. Kitchens and bathrooms are renovated and rooms feel light, airy and modern. Moral of the story? It’s what inside that counts–don’t judge us by our covers. So to all my neighbors this one’s for you…

Inspired Decorating Ideas for the Unexpected aka WOW!